This is the nonfiction story of one man's quest to publish a fiction novel:

A group of people were talking at work the other day about real estate.  It went something like this:

Consultant: Yeah, we have a condo in Manhattan, it's one bedroom, 400 square feet, and it's worth $500,000.

VP: But it's not like that everywhere in the country.  My dad's place in Atlanta has a river running through the house, and the property is acres upon acres, and they have horse stables and who knows what else, and it just cost them $1 million.

Me: $1 million.  Wow.  Was that before or after Water for Elephants?

VP: Oh, after.  Very much after.  

The VP of my office is Clara Pitts, formally Clara Gruen, step-daughter of Sara Gruen, author of Water for Elephants.

Water for Elephants is Sara's third published work, but the first to get any real attention.  And boy did it get attention.  It's still high on the bestseller list and was just voted Stephen King's sixth favorite book of the year.  Almost immediately after publishing, big name movie stars and big time movie companies were interested in optioning the story.  The New York Times asked Sara to write a column in their prestigious newspaper.  And then, she got a massive - I don't want to divulge the details - but massive deal where she'd get paid an extremely large sum of money for her next three books.

And BOOM, just like that, she's a famous author.  From near obscurity to super-stardom, with her picture even appearing in the pop culture bible Entertainment Weekly.

A similar course was just charted by another female writer, this a stripper turned screenwriter with the stage name Diablo Cody. She wrote the movie Juno, which is a critic's darling and well, that's really it.  It's a comedy about a pregnant girl, and a similar themed movie - Knocked Up - earned more money in its first day of release than Juno has earned in three weeks.  But does that matter?  Apparently not.  Because she's the newest columnist for the aforementioned Entertainment Weekly, and she just got millions of dollars for the rights to her next script.  Why did I italicize the word rights?  Because she doesn't have a next script.  Just like with Sara Guren, it's money based on good faith.  "Whenever you write something, we want it, and we're willing to pay you in advance for it."

Now that's a lot of pressure.  The damn thing better deliver.  But that's the life of a successful author.  And it can happen that fast.

From animal lover or stripper to superstar writer. From middle-class to millionaire.  It can happen that fast.  

I want a house with a river through it.  I want to write for Entertainment Weekly.  I guess I better hurry up and write my play about food for pregnant hippopotamuses.

But on a separate note, can we give props to the female writers our there?  None of this 80 cents on the dollar compared to men with the same job nonsense for them!  You go girl!  Huh, what's that?  I'm a guy, so I can't say 'you go girl'?"  Well that's just sexist and hurtful.   

*Addition* - Since this entry, Juno has gone on to gross $51.7 million and counting.  Maybe this blog is a nice form of advertising.  Huh?  Huh?  No?  Fine.