This is the nonfiction story of one man's quest to publish a fiction novel:

...Me, for having such a great group of people following my blog.  Thank you all so much for voting in the Great Query Debate of 2006.

I got literally hundreds of thousands of people asking for an update.  Well, maybe just hundreds.  Okay, it was only two people.  Fine, no one asked.  Are you happy now?

Screw it.  There had to be some people out there unable to eat, sleep, or go to work until they knew the results, and since I don't want any lawsuits from starving insomniacs on welfare, here is an update on the voting process:

Although some of you had some very compelling reasons why you preferred Query #1, the second letter ran away with the election, holding down an astounding 85% of the vote.  Although many of you suggested attempting to combine the two (albeit still keeping it one page long) which I tend to think is a good idea, and that good ol’e one-armed master whale-baiting widower, Gusopenshaw, made a great suggestion that I have no choice but to take, seeing as how he's actually had publishing success.

But until then, I have started sending query letter 2 out to agents.  I was leaning toward that letter anyway.  After all, I got the inspiration for it while writing my blog.

And speaking of inspiration, let’s discuss it today.

Where do you get the inspiration for your writing?  Did you have an idea floating around in your head for years and you finally wrote it down, or did a line in an episode of The Bachelor trigger something in your psyche and suddenly a fit of inspiration (obviously an angry fit) punched you in the nose?  Leave me a comment letting me know what inspires you (both in your writing and in your life) and in an upcoming post I'll share some of them, as well as how I got the ideas for my books.

But for now, let's switch gears from what inspires you to write and instead discuss the process of how you write.

Do you plan things out ahead of time, making detailed outlines and play-by-play analysis of the stories and characters?  Or do you prefer to, as the rappers say, "freestyle it?"

I'm a freestyle fan.  I like to let inspiration guide me.  While I certainly have particular ideas about what characters should do and say, I try to let the moment dictate what happens.

Now this isn’t always the case.  For instance, I knew that the main character of my first novel was going to have an obsessive tick that caused him to feel uneasy unless he counted the shapes in particular objects, like signs, the lines of people's faces, buildings, etc.  And the number always had to end in a zero or a five, or else he would get more on edge and had to keep recounting, adding new shapes if he had to, until his numbers matched up.  I knew what event in the character’s life would have triggered this disorder, and what event would finally free him of it.

And sometimes you have to do that.  Sometimes you have to have character arcs planned out long in advance.  Many writers chart out the path that all of their characters will take, both physically and emotionally, looooong before they ever write a word.  Some writers actually take longer to create the outline than they do to write the book.

I am not one of those writers.  While I knew I wanted the main character to have that particular character trait, I didn't map out every incidence of it.  I just put it in places where I thought it felt appropriate.

Call me weird if you want, and I'm sure you do, but that's the process I like.  I prefer to let my fingers type.  I believe that it often creates, please excuse the pun, inspired results:

____________________________________________________________________________


    Hairy Alwether had been on the force for seven years.  He was seasoned.  He was hardened.  He was about five foot four and a half inches, one hundred thirty-four and three fourths pounds of pure, unadulterated hard ass, with disproportionately large feet and an impressively tight, hard ass.  He also had a heart of gold and a head of sandy blonde hair.  His dark blue eyes were handsome, as were the rest of his seasoned, hardened features.  He would have been a real lady-killer if he weren’t so damn small.  At least, that’s what he always told everyone, before pointing out that he was simply joking, and was, in fact, a good cop who would never kill a lady, unless she wouldn’t sleep with him.  Nobody ever laughed at that comment, but he always snickered like he was a third grader making a fart joke.  

    Hairy’s partner was the type of lady he’d like to kill (not literally, of course.  He’s a good cop, remember?).  Somere Wynter was sleek, slender, and sumptuous.  She was tall, tanned, and tantalizing.  She was busty, blonde, and beautiful.  These are all adjectives that the not-so-eloquent Hairy used to describe his partner to himself when he was all alone and feeling lonely.  He would think about her firm rear end and how it bounced back and forth when she walked.  He would think about her plump breasts and how they bounced up and down when she ran.  He would think about her piercing blue eyes, lighter and less handsome, but more alluring, than his own, and how he wished they would look him up and down like every man in the precinct did her.  He would fantasize about her full lips and thin eyebrows, and about how she must have been the muse for every artist who had ever sculpted a female body of physical perfection.  He would think about all of these things when he was all alone and feeling lonely.  And then he would remember that he was gay. 

____________________________________________________________________________

 
First of all, the last line was as much a surprise to me as it was to you, but second, this short chapter ended up shaping a lot of what would happen in the rest of the book.  I didn’t outline this beforehand, but Hairy became the type of quirky, charming character whose jokes people never laugh at, even though he always snickers at them like a third grader telling a fart joke.  It set up the duality in his personality, between having lustful affection for Somere while remaining very, very gay, and between being a tough, hardened cop (a hard ass with a hard ass) while remaining very, very gay.  Confused?  So is he.

His feet (they are actually hand-feet, you know, his toes look like fingers) play a large part in the deterioration of his relationship, and the way he views his partner plays a large part in the formation of theirs.  His short stature and heart of gold both factor into the story strongly (minor example - Gold is definitely a soft metal, because Hairy Alwether’s heart of gold burst into as many pieces as a human heart can figuratively burst into).

It even let me set up some references that would play themselves out through the rest of the novel.  While many scenes are direct homages to Edgar Allan Poe’s poems, Herman Melville’s Moby Dick, Martin Sorceress’s Goodfellas, The Odyssey, and much more, I also include some references that are very minor, and some are just downright silly.

In order to reference Sue Grafton’s alphabet series (See: B is For Burglar, S is For Silence, etc.), I thought I’d include some form of alliteration every once in a while in relation to Somere.  For example:

“When Somere slowly and smoothly strutted into the sweaty station, wearing strappy stiletto shoes and smelling of a somewhat sea salty and surprisingly sultry scent while seductively sipping a sweet Seven-Eleven Slurpie, her male co-workers’ loose joints stiffened significantly.  As her heels pounded against the hard tile floor, causing an echo of epic proportions with each sensual step, Hairy thought to himself, who wears stilettos to solve a murder?  But at the same time, he thought, I wonder if those come in a size 12.  Nevertheless, Somere looked sensational.  And Juan the new recruit’s golden skin really shimmers in the glow of these neon lights.  Damn, Hairy needed to focus.”

And, about 350 pages later:

“Sultry Somere slowly and silently slinked her sweet, sexy, silky smooth body down the dark, damp, dusky, disheveled corroding concrete and cement corridor in search of the horrible, horrendous, however still handsome, homicidal maniac.”

At this point in the post I would like to point out that I was very young when I wrote this book, and I have really matured since then.  My new books have none of these goofy gimmicks – just good old-fashioned writing meant to draw you in and keep you there. 

When I wrote this book I just wanted to see if I could, and it is very stylized and very much making fun of the old Mickey Spillane style of film-noirish detective story writing.  I love the characters and I love some of the situations they find themselves in, but some aspects of the writing, like the parts where I wrote in alliteration, are just trying too hard.  Fortunately, I've improved greatly since then.

But let’s get back to the point.  The next time you are writing a story of any kind, let your fingers do some of the talking.  You certainly can and probably should have details thought-out ahead of time, and maybe even outlined, but in the course of writing you are going to be hit with some new ideas.  Even if they break away from your plan, use them.  They develop because you are starting to learn the characters.  You associate with them better now then you did when you wrote your outline.  Follow your gut.  As your characters develop, so are you, and as you are learning them, they are learning you.  Take advantage of this deepened relationship. 

They are trying to talk to you.  They are trying to tell you how they should be written.  Listen to them.

Being prepared is great, but writing is a creative medium.  Never forget the creativity.  And, in my experience, creativity flows most fluidly when you are sitting in front of a computer or holding a pad and pencil and just letting it seep out of you. 

Another bit of advice – whenever you get  an idea, write it down.  Then, when you’re near your computer, stick it at the end of your manuscript under a section labeled “notes.”  These can be plot ideas that come to you in your sleep, vivid descriptions of a character that hit you when talking to your next-door neighbor, some interesting phrase you hear someone on TV say that you think needs to be expanded and explored, or anything else.  Stick them in your document and then figure out a time to work them into the story.

Prime example:

I know that in my third book I want the two main characters (a husband and a wife) to have a particular argument.  I’ve already written the entire argument out, but I have no idea where in the book this argument is going to go.  I just know that while my fingers are doing their marathon walk, the inspiration will come to me, and the place where the argument should be will become obvious. 

Another example:

I know that in a future post I want to discuss how to write dialogue.  I don’t know what post that will be, but I know I will write it eventually.

Will it be the next post?  Probably not.  But tune in anyway to find out.